♪ Onward, outward, love is braver than the pain. ♪

Attempting to confine that which should be free, will make it piss on your carpet.

"I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain."

Frank Herbert - Dune

Kleptomanic heart jugglers,

World destroyers,

Dividers of the grandeur,

Blasted Belial bastions of personas,

Songstress and Songster of Shikome,

Vessels of violet violation,

Rigorous rioters and fluid fanatics of the fictitious,

Moral mis-leaders; mis-reading; most important details.

Death in the attempt to forge your abandon,

is a life well lived.

So after about 16 hours of work (and more to come)thanks to a new recording program randomly losing half of my work, here we are.

"Brighten" is recorded. It needs to be mastered. I need to write/sing lyrics for it. All of that will come in the next couple days though. Despite being busy, I will finish it. This is the first song I've worked on that I can say I am completely satisfied with the outcome.

So check it out, let me know what you think.

Here's a link.

http://rcpt.yousendit.com/693405114/040a172ee4706a0da24146c1ef8439dd

Yet another amazing song, quickly rising to become my favorite.

[Quote Time]

♪ Dream On. ♪

♪ Do you believe all the things that your seeing are true. The Start's where the End's leading you. ♪

♪ Do you believe all is twisted as one would perceive? Seek the answers and soon you'll believe. ♪

If you are one of the people who have the strength.

Give what you can to help the people you encounter from day to day.

As cliche', work-oriented, and ridiculous as it may sound.

Even giving so much as a smile can often brighten a persons day, which requires no strength at all(unless your jaw is wired shut :\ ).

I know personally I would rather be, than consistently wait for a light a light in the darkness/at the end of the tunnel.

I know I will give everything I can, no matter what the circumstances.

There are people who suffer legitimately everyday, and I know if I can do something to help reduce that suffering, I'll be one to step forward.

I'm having a really hard time putting words to precisely what I am trying to convey.

Enjoy this chance you have to be alive, and use your potential and abilities. Give strength in whatever way you can, and never forget how precious this life is.

This life is full of grandeur and wonder, as long as you draw breath, you have the potential to do something great, and never forget this.



Bring a little more brightness to the day.

To the Universal Flow, and the constant which is.

Through the inevitable transmutation and the Ever Present Is.

Passed the inability to recognize the true nothing.

I am here, and I will do my best.

To Benzaiten, Kamu-Nahobi, and that which is us all and beyond.

To all of the people who find detriment in their transition.

I will do my best, and let you walk in shades of the sun.

I am humble and respectful, yet determined and strong.

I will.

I will find myself back in Alpena.

For the most part I am fairly excited.

There was something that was asked me two days ago that made me somewhat thoughtful, hence the apprehension in the writing.

The rather unfortunate thing is watching the world fall to pieces around me. People falling into unhealthy trends (both physically and spiritually). People losing their jobs, and their wills to rise up in the world. I personally am a firm believer in the "everything will be all right" business no matter what I may say on some matters (particularly in love).

I am sad to leave behind (again) all the people I have met. I mean, I've met many people from my moves before this one, but I never really got as close as I did to some of the people here. I've become much like a son or a brother to many of the people I've come to know here, young and old.

It breaks my heart knowing these things. Being the person I am though, I want everyone to know that everything will be all right. Even if the people I come to know and love take nothing to remember from my soul (which is not the case but), I want them to take that sense of things.

Not matter what fiery blasted craters may be traversed through, you'll come to the green grass on the other side.

This move is going to be quite rough, but I am excited for the potential it holds.

You know, I know a great many, many people have had very rough lots. I've gone through, and go through many ordeals that some people will never understand, nor should they have to go through any of it (and I don't state this in an "oh poor me" tone, but in a statement to suggest what many people would say in my shoes).

The only thing I want to say from everything I have been through, is to know there is something better coming, no matter what. In any amount miasma and darkness, there is light.

Do not give up, continue trying and stick with the things you believe in, whatever they may be. If you forget my eyes, and the way I make ridiculous comments and motions all the time. If you take nothing else from me, remember this.

Everything will be all right, I know I sound like a broken record but I can not help it. Be thankful for the things you do have, instead of fretting over the things you don't. Be grateful for all the things which make you stronger and try to make you waver. Even if you are in pain, and tormented, be thankful for the breath you have. Each one is important, not matter how unconscious they may be.

No matter what trials are encountering you, be grateful for the life you have, and the soul which your body carries with it, if nothing else.

If you remember nothing more of me, remember this.

Live, and be thankful. Never give up what you believe in.

Live.

Well, I don't think a single quality could really sum up being the most important thing in a significant other.

Many things that are coupled and joined together could equate to such a term.

Sincerity and acceptance often go hand in hand, but should also be joined with a kind heart and loyalty. I say sincerity also, because honesty can often be abided with a strong sense of apathy (and compassion should as well be another strong component in such a person).

Oh, and with any luck or sheer meddling from the hands of fate, I would hope for a pair of gorgeous big brown eyes to accompany those qualities.

That is my answer at the moment.

Cake is delicious.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

This is the film that Heath Ledger passed away during mid-production.

In the film, his character goes through a series of changes. In the roles of his changes were cast Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Collin Farrel to cover the role of one Heath Ledger.

I think it doesn't need to be said, but I'll say it anyways. Three of Hollywood's most renown actors, to fill the role of one amazing actor.

It may have been one of the most tragic events in mainstream media, but his memory will continue.

Thank you for everything you gave us.

Easter-egg and Mr. Bale

So, first to state, if anyone checked it out. The link I left in the previous post was a tiny Easter egg of a song that I have been meaning to record for quite some time.

Though the link only provided the first 40ish seconds (including intro. bits) I do have the entirety of it recorded. I still have a LOT of editing/mastering to do yet (to the best of my recording programs capabilities). I need to see if I can slow things down a bit because apparently 2 Coca-Colas in a day= wayyy too much caffeine. All and all I think it's pretty neat and I don't know if I'll be recording any more tracks aside from guitar at this point yet.

Secondly now, so did anyone listen to the Christian Bale tid-bit? Normally I'm not all about Celebrity "blah, crazy, blah". In this case though I think it was somewhat disappointing. I of course understand, everyone has their days, their moments. Things happen and people are often pushed to edges which they often step over. He went off on the guy for at least a good 3 minutes (the track I listened to didn't have a timer on it).

Over something completely trivial as well. For someone who chooses the roles he does, it just seemed really disappointing, especially with the reaction from the lighting worker.

Oh well though, things will be as they are.

Other Queries

Other notes in Kyle's life at the moment.

I may or may not be moving again in a couple of months, and if so I imagine I would go back to A-town, because well, despite employment issues coupled with lack of network, many of the people I love most in the world are located there. Well, that and Ohio sucks.

I have thought about taking up a second job and saving up to move across the states though.

I'm really in the "trying to figure out" stage of things, which is always rather complicated.

(side note, I hope I can even out the distortion in my recording :\)

Sorry folks, I'm really, really distracted at the moment so I think I'm going to have to call that it for now.

My apologies, I hope all is well, and as always -

take care everyone.

Let's just say a little, tiny, itteh bitteh kitteh taste of things to come.

http://rcpt.yousendit.com/648447156/cc47c188167eeb28f90451b018aa2cbc

I

Am

Highly intoxicated

(This took a lot of effort.)

Annnnnnnd

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Good Night!!!!

You know, I woke up this morning. I have weekend off so I actually get to wake up to the daylight. So upon looking out the window (with my glasses off) it appeared somewhat gray, but looked like there was some sort of precipitation. I started to get excited as I reached for my glasses and put them on to see Large fluffy bits falling to the ground.

You know, despite the fact that I may not feel the same near the end of March. I feel entirely joyous and privileged that I can lay in bed and stare out the window to such wonderment.

It's like gazing into the world, and seeing hope fall upon it.

Hope for the world...

This is a good thing.

This is a grand day.

"High is the way, but all eyes are upon the ground.
You were the light and the way they'll only read about.
I only pray, Heaven knows when to lift you out.
Ten thousand days in the fire is long enough;
You're going home."

~ "10,000 days (Wings for Marie Pt. 2)" - Tool

If you know the context of the over all lyrics and what has been told of the situation, it holds a great deal of significance. Even from day to day.

There are a great deal of things that I have lately let weigh far too heavily on my life. Through these things, instances which are all temporary and fleeting; through my begrudging and selfishness I have allowed myself to become something....someone I do not care for.

"Fear is the little black death, it is the mind-killer."

~ "Dune" By Frank Herbert

Mostly through instigation by fear, I have allowed my "self" to slip. I have lost my foundry, my purpose, the path which I walk along.

I can recall what instance I do believe originally led to a change that was... regressive at very best. Through fear, I gave way and paved the path for numerous and negative emotions to overcome me. Emotions such as anger, wavering, selfishness, contempt, greed, agitation, and various others. I have let myself become clouded by these things.

In the heavy fog of my being though, I do see a small light, which has started to become brighter. That light is who I actually am, not who I have let myself become. In my sloth, fear and decadence I have allowed myself to become lost with no devotion.

I stopped searching for the lessons I had so direly required before.

No longer though, my path is still very cloudy, but I know where I am headed and what means are needed to arrive there.

Unless I wish to meet an untimely, or early demise, I must strive to be who I am. Not who I have allowed myself to become.


This recognition is the first step amongst many that will allow me to further myself along the way I must follow, not the one that gets me to any destination the fastest.

It is long, and rough, but I must endure and find my true way once again.

My selfish sadness like a crying jackal, must be dissolved.

I have spent far too long confused, angry, and most of all afraid. It is time that this has changed. Not only for wellness unto myself, but for those I know I must help.

This is the first step.

Soo, I've been watching the Highlander series quite a bit lately. I use to love it as a kid and it's been really awesome watching it again.

The reason I'm posting this post though is that in seasons 1, episode 21, there's definitely a role played by Anthony Head.

And I just like noticing things like that.

So there. Bwaha